Category Archives: Al Ain year three
Still Thankful…
A selfie with some of the crew. Three of us are at an American football game.
We didn’t feel like throwing our annual Thanksgiving bash at my complex this year. Ashley has moved to another place, and Haneefa and I didn’t feel like doing all the party prep. Instead 10 of us rented a 5-bedroom apartment in Dubai, and 11 of us feasted and got merry together. Of course we had a great time. Oh, and we got to Skype Suzanne whose back in the states. We missed having her with us, but we’re so happy she gets to be with her family this year.
It was great to be with my UAE family, but I’m really missing Joe and the kids. Kaylene and Kelly cooked dinner at their place; Joe and Aaron joined them and Kelly’s mom. It looked and sounded like they had a great time. Kyle was busy in Sedona. On Saturday Aaron moved into his first apartment, so all of my children have officially flown the coop — how weird is that. Joe was there to help him, but it’s weird for me to not have been there to see him off. Hahaha perhaps Mama bird just wanted the chance to do that final shove out of the nest.
I’m so hoping I’ll get to spend the holiday season with my family next year. Three years away is perhaps too much. Regardless of where my next job is, I will be home for Christmas next year. InshAllah Halloween and Thanksgiving as well, but that all depends on where my next job will be.
I’m in an odd place right now. I’ve stopped putting in applications at other schools because Joe and I have decided that he will continue to work until I begin my next job (and I’m so glad he’s willing to do this! it was his idea). We’re hoping a DODEA interview will come up last minute , and that I’ll be free to take the job. Anyway, in a perfect world I’ll get to be a housewife (with grown children on their own!) for a few months with a miraculous January post. For the first time in my life I’ll be a kept woman, and I am soo soo soo good with that. Unless, of course, a job comes up that I can’t refuse. Then Joe will be the kept one.
The odd place I’m in is being excited about reuniting with my family for more than a few weeks while at the same time being depressed about leaving here. I know that once I come back from Christmas vacation time will fly by — and that’s a good and bad thing!
Work has been busy, but by Tuesday night I will be finished with this trimester’s real work. All I’ll have to do is proctor and mark some exams, and plan for January. In a few days my friend Brandy and I will be decompressing in Cyprus — woo hoo! And two weeks after that I begin my Scandinavian adventure.
So, my depressed side doesn’t get a whole lot of time to pity party. And, on the plus side, friends I’ve made here are now also family, so we too will celebrate together again.
How many revelers can you fit on a Dubai balcony? Some of our food and a glimpse of our apartment’s view. Dubai is always so good to us.
Just this once…
I hate talking or writing about politics because I know that there is no longer any room for debate. There’s the side I’m on, and the other side. There’s a whole lot of other stuff in between that both sides could agree upon, but vitriolic words metaphorically built that wall some politicians (and one incoming president) claim we should build — keeping Americans, not illegals, from moving forward.
I can’t ignore what is affecting my, and millions of other, lives today. So, let me get my political shit out there, and before my Republican friends decide to skip on out of here, know this post is not about bashing you (I actually believe in the less government part of your original ideology) — it is about being honest with what I feel is wrong with us today.
I believe Winston Churchill is credited with saying something along the lines of the most powerful weapon is words: they begin and end wars. Sorry I googled and couldn’t find the exact quote. Ancient Ashanti kings had spokespeople speak for them because their words were law, and it was better to have a filter to prevent irreparable oratory. Words are everything; language is what makes us gloriously and horrifically human, which is why — believe it or not— I carefully choose what I post publicly.
I would never, ever vote for a man like Trump because he so carelessly throws his words around not giving a damn to what damage they might cause. And before anyone begins with the ‘so, you think Hillary would do better’ replies; this isn’t about her. So bear with me. Maybe Mr. Trump’s word choice is deliberate and he has no plan of following through with any of what he’s claimed — maybe he wants to grow rainbows and cure the world with lots of peace and love. Maybe he’s smarter than all of us, and knows he has to tap into our hatred to bring out our peace. Yeah I know that’s probably all bullshit, but a girl can dream. I don’t know what President Trump has in store for us, and to be honest it isn’t his words that scare me the most; it’s our reaction to them, and then his reaction. And by our I mean my side too.
I was in the middle of teaching my sweet girls in a rural, Islamic, Middle Eastern town, when I heard the news. Like millions of others I was mortified, shocked, and profoundly embarrassed — I may have even felt true despair (something foreign to me). I thought and felt a lot of the same as everyone else on ‘my side’ of things. But, then I saw my side publicly grieve and lash out at the other side, and while I agreed with their anger, I was mortified to see what some of them were saying (to my Democrat friends, bear with me here).
I know this is hard for my side to believe, but believe it or not there are actually good people who voted for Trump. (don’t delete me yet I’m getting to the misogynistic, homophobic, xenophobic, bigoted stuff) It hurts me to see us lash out at each other for letting this happen. I do not in any way, shape or form agree with a vote for Trump, but that’s my right. And, it’s my fellow American’s right to vote the way they like — regardless of how dangerously wrong or uninformed I might think they are. And, I certainly don’t want anyone lashing out at third-party voters either. While I also didn’t like any of their candidates, they are right to demand for other party options — something has gone very, very wrong with our two parties in control. The past few presidential elections third parties have been brought up, and the message is always you’re right, things are messed up, but don’t cast third-party votes during a presidential election. It’ll only hurt the cause; let’s work on this outside of a presidential campaign. And, then it all gets forgotten, so yeah people are pissed. So please, do not condemn Americans for thinking beyond the box.
We are never, ever going to move forward if we cannot stop blaming the other side for our problems, and we’re certainly never going to be able to discuss, debate, COLLABORATE on anything if we’re articulating only our anger and hatred.
That said, there is the sad reality of how many people do believe in some of Trump’s spoken and twittered nastiness. Yeah, yeah, yeah some folks voted for him because they thought he’d make good business sense and some believed Hillary would do more damage, but let us be totally honest here: too many of us really do hate ‘them’ (insert group of choice here) and blame ‘them’ for all that is wrong in our world.
So let’s go back to the hateful words that helped get Trump elected. Please do not demonize those who are currently protesting (I’m not including anarchists in this sentiment — those who destroy property and attempt to wound anyone in the process are there for the wrong reasons), and if you think there wouldn’t have been rioting if Trump lost you are sadly mistaken. Please do not tell those who didn’t vote for Trump to suck it up and quit being sore losers. This isn’t about that at all; it’s about wanting the world to know that America does not stand for ignorance and prejudice, even though it is obviously a very real problem in our society. If you believe prejudice isn’t as big a problem as ‘they’ say it is, you’re in denial. We need to figure out a way to quit blaming the other side (whichever one you’re on black/white; man/woman; immigrant/american born; christian/islamic, gay/straight; etc/etc. ) and find our common ground, which is so much bigger than the bits that divide us.
There is so much more that I want to write about what I believe and why, but we live in an Internet world where even I struggle to read anything that isn’t easy to scan (another issue that connects to our current issues).
We know deep down in our guts what the right things truly are to do, but it’s just so damned hard to do it right, so we do the easy thing — we fight, we blame, we do everything but pull together. Even when we claim we’re screaming and fighting for American values (speaking to all sides here, not just the other one).
And since just this once I’m sharing my political views I also really want to be totally honest about what I feel about those who berate me or think I’m weak because I want to have a more balanced society. It takes courage and hard work, really emotionally-draining hard work to implement solutions that benefit more than one side. I am so sick and tired of my views being turned into a joke or touted as unrealistic, sappy, tree-hugging, hippy, peace loving bullshit. As if wanting peace was a bad thing. There is nothing weak about who I am or what I believe in. Jesus, if you’re one of his followers, kind of spoke to this. So, to those of you who dismiss me as a do-gooder who doesn’t know what the real world is all about, I have just one thing to say: Fuck you! Just this once I’ll let it out. I’m human too.
But if you truly want to discuss our differences and see how your point of view and my point of view can join and make our country great again, I am so in. I might even buy you a beer, or hell I might even marry you (just ask my husband, a republican who also opted out of voting for Trump). And oh my God if our new president can manage to do that while making decisions that will help our country heal and grow and move forward, I can find it in myself to respect his work. I will never forget, forgive or like him for the things he has said, but I can support a presidency that works for all of my country’s people and doesn’t shred our constitution. And that’s just it we don’t have to like each other, but damn it people we do have to work together, or there won’t be much of an America to do anything with. I so hope and pray we find our way forward. I have never meant this more: May God Bless America — please.
Image taken from Wikipedia.org
I’ve got a hand gesture for you…
Last week the UAE showed the world — well the UAE anyway, the rest of the world’s media didn’t seem to pick up on this story — it’s hand gesture for tolerance.
You see this Islamic Middle Eastern country has a governmental department dedicated to spreading tolerance. Ewww and get this it’s led by a woman:
Sheikha Lubna Al Qasimi, who is the UAE’s Minister of Tolerance, announced the charter, explaining that it will aim to combat bigotry, extremism and racism. She also highlighted how the charter and the discussions around it will work to highlight the true essence of Islam.
Quote taken from WhatsOn Uae.com (click here for more on this)
I’m not gonna lie when I first read about the hand signal I rolled my eyes because who needs this? And what kind of fluff is this? And, before anyone comments or messages me: No, I’m not typing that this country is perfect. It has its bigots, just like every where else in the world, and it has its inconsistencies — but now I’ve got a hand sign I can flash to someone being intolerant. So there — might even be more powerful than the illegal middle finger.
I am sharing this because wanna know what did make the headlines in my home country? Green Starbucks cups! It seems there’s drama over the new cup, which features a drawing of a bunch of different folk, which is meant to represent our freedom to be who the Eff we are and emphasise our need to, you know, tolerate one another. Some don’t like the color, some don’t like the people on it, some think its a political ploy, one Internet troll posted it was anti Christmas because green is the color of Islam (I thought it also was connected to Christmas) and the idiocracy goes on, blah, blah, blah.
It’s a coffee cup — it’s not religious or social propaganda. No one’s indoctrinating anyone into any shit, and no one is hijacking Christmas. And, I know — please God tell me I’m right on this — that the amount of people who really got ticked off and believed all this anti-Christmas crap is miniscule. But, you see it is being covered (although thank God not extensively) and it is being discussed.
When I find myself in conversations that inevitably include someone saying something along the lines of “why don’t they (Arabs/Muslims) do more to speak out” against insert terrorism group of choice, I always point out they do — it’s just not covered in whatever whomever I’m speaking to is watching, reading or listening to. Arab countries lose their young in the war against extremists (not to mention their people and land tend to be the victims of terrorist attacks), their leaders speak up against the atrocities, and they invest in programs that emphasise the Islamic principles that are identical to some of our christian ones. I’m not just typing this to be all peace and lovey — people here are just as ticked (if not more) as people back home, and they want what we all want: to live their lives without violence. So when trolls post shit like not wanting to associate their faith with another one it ticks me off because all faiths are about unity and doing good in this world. Idiots who contort that and do other things in the name of God do not represent their alleged religion. Um, just like, I hope, big talking heads who spew more nastiness do not represent we the people (had to throw that in there so close to election day).
Now I know flapping my hands like a dove isn’t going to stop terrorists, just like the color of a coffee mug isn’t going to destroy christianity, but the fact that we’re allowing ourselves to continually get riled up over messages that divide us is a problem. The stupid Starbucks mess isn’t the issue — the fear, hatred, ignorance that feeds this is.
What I’ve decided that I want for Christmas is every country to have its own Ministry of Tolerance. If we all got serious about this and put real political clout behind it imagine its potential. I know there I go being all peace and love on you again, but aren’t we allegedly entering into that season?
And for the folks back home who will be voting this week (citizens living overseas have already done so), please remember to not vilify your fellow citizens — including the folk who didn’t vote for your guy or gal. We’ve gotta get a grip and throw more tolerance versus Eff you out there!
Field trips,applications, halloween and birthdays!
This is probably the hardest time of year because it’s when I get the most homesick (it comes in waves). Two of my children have birthdays — Kyle’s was on Tuesday and Kaylene’s is today. When they were young I always threw them a combined halloween/birthday party — until they started requesting something different (but that didn’t stop me from inviting folk over to get all ghouly). I love, love, love halloween, so having two kids birthdays near it always just made it that much better. I’d dec out my house and whip out the crock pot because this is when it gets chilly enough for stews and fires — in Virginia it was our wood stove; Arizona it was our outdoor fire pit. Plus, who doesn’t like having glow-in-the dark witches and frankensteins hanging all over the place?
October through Jan 1 is just one excuse after another to snuggle up, eat hearty foods, sip good whatevers, laugh and love with the good (who sometimes drive you crazy) people. We do it here too, but it’s not the same. Besides it’s still too warm for any kind of fire other than the one heating up the shisha coals or burning in our Fall-scented candles. That said on halloween I had a lovely dinner with Shannan and Ian, and we wtf-ed over Westworld episodes.
and ewwwed over these cookies I found at Abelas, a store that caters to expats.
During the week Haneefa and I shrieked and questioned life while watching Black Mirror episodes (if you like freaky shows like the Twilight Zone, give this one a looksie; it’s on Netflix). We’ve got the chamomile tea, a/c blasting (to make it cold) and fuzzy blankies to snuggle with, but, no offense to my friends, I’d still rather have my burly man there rubbing my feet. Somehow I don’t think my friends would continue coming over if I plopped my feet on their lap and gave them lotion, and since I enjoy their company I’ll just continue rubbing my own damned soles (but Joe your time is nigh!).
This country also has its fun times coming up. Yesterday was Flag Day, which is when the UAE celebrates its patriotism by showing off their flag and getting all giddy over their citizenship. I learned yesterday that it’s also a son’s way of honouring his father. Way back when the former sheik passed away and the responsibility of ruling this country transferred to his son, the new sheik wanted to do something that commemorated who his father was, so on his version of a coronation he created Flag Day. I think that’s pretty cool. From now until January festive lights and flags will pop up all over the country because coming up December 2 is National Day, the UAE’s birthday. So it is festive here, and it is cooling down, and it’s good to see my students having fun, but as nice as this is it’s all not ‘my’ holiday. I’m honored to take part in it, but I’m really missing doing my traditions with my American brethren — although I am glad to not be part of the heated political rants (inshAllah that nightmare will be over soon — yeah yeah I know the uglies will keep on for awhile but a girl can dream).
I missed watching the cubs win, but another teacher friend of mine watched the last few minutes of the game with her students, and they all cheered — bringing two worlds together for just a bit during something called the World Series, so see good things are happening. Opposite cultures can rejoice together.
As for what else I’ve been doing: last week I got to go on my first field trip. It’s always difficult to get a trip approved, and there’s always so much that needs to be done in the classroom, hence the reason that my first one is during my third year here. Our theme this trimester is careers, so we took the girls to a career fair in Abu Dhabi, and it was a great experience for them. They got to mingle with universities from around the world — including my Alma mater VCU (how exciting that was for me) and a university from Arizona (good to speak to a Flagstaffonian) and I got to share something new with them. I really think this is the best part about teaching — when you can connect the real world to what you’re boring the hell out of them with in the classroom, and they finally see that oh wow this stuff is actually cool. Yesterday two of my students from last year popped in, and woo hoo they told my class to pay attention to my grammar and essay lessons because they’ll need it next year. HumdaAllah dots are being connected!
How do you feed 50 hungry girls at a very busy, small gas-station McDonalds? You get the food to come to you!
On a bittersweet note I’ve decided this is definitely my last year here. I will forever be grateful for this experience and will always have a soft spot for my girls here (if any of you are googling and stalking me, I expect to see you do great things! Now khallas with the social media and get back to studying). It’s time for me to move on to another experience, so the search for where I’ll be next year is on (and the better news is my man will be with me). I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m applying to international schools with good reputations (and, well, salaries and benefits as well — Mama likes to eat and travel) and DODEA. Joe and I will discuss any offers that come my way and plan from there. We’ll see where it all leads to next. The only thing that’s certain is that 2017 will include a whole new set of new!
And that’s all I’ve got for you for this week. Ewww, and I typed all of this while sipping a velvety pumpkin-spice latte, so life is still very good and almost autumnish.
Cosmo Crowd & Hormonal Headaches
Okay first I’m going to brag about my time doing the cosmopolitan thing and playing with the pretty people in Dubai. I had a blast this weekend. Thursday night I happy-hour chilled with friends on a lovely hotel terrace then bee bopped on a rooftop club full of hipsters —- finding my shisha, cocktail nirvana amongst the young and city lights.
The next day we gussied ourselves up (and looked mighty damn fine if I do say so myself) for the Toy Brunch at Westin. The Toy Brunch is different than most brunches. It’s set in a swanky black and silver night club decked out with lego blocks, trucks and other toys. A duck taco stand is in one corner, a bar in the other and a moveable platform somewhere in the middle. Waiters bring you platters of Asian food —- beginning with an assortment of dim sum and sushi and ending with miniature pastries. The food and perpetually flowing champagne is nice, but the acts are what give it its extra umph. One minute you’re inhaling a skewer of meat, the next you’re watching a ballerina in a helmet pirouette on that platform, followed by a contortionist, minions, mimes, pokemon and a whole assortment of toy-themed fun, including a little-man magician. It’s surreal.
Some of Haneefa’s pics (my phone sucks)
The young in slinky, sexy outfits abound, and I was feeling just like one of them until a 22-year old said to me, “I wanna be just like you when I’m your age.”
My age? What in the hell? Did she not realise in my head I am still 19, and hello? I thought I looked pretty darn cool in my macrame sweater (hahaha typing this I realize hmm maybe not the best choice) and black dress.
But check it out, here I am riding a jackass (and I beat off a few young ones telling them I’ve had plenty more years experience).
It’s all good because age aside, my table —- of 30, 40 and 50 somethings —- was one of the first to be moved to the upstairs portion of the club (when the food service part was over), where we got our own couch and perfect view of ‘toy’ dancers, and I had a fabulous time showing the young how it’s done ‘when my age.” One day in their too-near future they will live to regret those words.
I even woke up the next morning feeling perfectly fine, but as the day wore on indigestion kicked in, and then an old back injury started acting up. Long story short I popped some tylenol PM and alka seltzer before going to bed in hopes of a good night’s sleep. Then boom! the scariest headache of my life kicked in. I, honest to god, thought I was having a stroke. I called my neighbour Haneefa (and also the youngest playmate I had this weekend) who took me to the ER.
Five hours later, an EKG, Cat Scan, IV drip of something and blood work, and I learned that there was nothing wrong with me — well except for the fact that I’m 51 and my body is rebelling against this thing called ‘the change.’ I tried to rationalise what had happened —- too much good food and prosecco? bad reaction from tylenol pm and effervescent antacid? But, no the obvious answer is on the Internet. Apparently, women my age can experience this kind of thing when there’s a drastic change in estrogen. Who knew? And, there it is: I’m facing my age all over again. If only this thing that’s happening would hurry up and delete my cycle I’d be much happier about it.
That said it is what it is, and I’m not going to dwell on it now that I know what it is. The next time my brain explodes I’ll just live with it. Am I embarrassed that my poor friend had to sit with me at a hospital for too many hours on a work night for something that was just hormonal? A little, but two other things happened to put it all in perspective.
- My friend stayed with me even though I told her several times to go. I could take a taxi home. She said no. We don’t have family here, and no one wants to stay alone in the hospital. Scary is scary regardless of the outcome, and thank God I don’t have some sort of brain-eating worm embedded in my skull (another thing I thought might be a reason). I am so incredibly blessed to have the friends I do (and know that any one of them would have done this), and I am glad she stayed with me. I was scared, and having her there made a difference. Our friendships here are what guide us through the good, the bad and the ugly.
- The reason we were in hospital for so long was because there was a bad car wreck. A man died just a few feet away from my little corner. A woman who knew him wailed loudly. Her cries tugged at my soul. I so badly wanted to hug her and tell her it would be okay, but right then that was a complete lie. For her at that moment nothing was okay. She violently lost someone she obviously loved. My friend and I would get to go home, and I’d get to joke about my hormonal headache.
Yes this aging thing is a bitch, but I get to do it. And I thank the powers that be for every second that is given to me —- and rock my damned crocheted sweater and heals while doing it.
putting this here just so in 20 years I could look at it and say, “damn I looked good when I was ‘young.'” Plus it looks a little cosmoish!
Travel planning (google is my friend).
Image taken from Wikitravel.com
The weekend is already on its last day. Man, they go by too quickly, even when I’m spending most of it chilling on the couch — either with friends or my laptop.
There’s a whole lot of fun we do on our off time, but the one thing most expat teachers (at least in the UAE) have in common is we spend a lot of time planning our next trips. Check out our internet history and you’ll see an ungodly amount of flight-deal searches. It’s almost pornographic how much we voyeur into potential voyages.
As soon as I know I have days off coming up, I’m on it (hahaha sometimes a year in advance). Since most of my trips are long weekend trips, I usually start off planning by scanning for a deal — groupon (yes they have great travel deals, although I have yet to buy one), Cobone (a local version of Groupon), Kayak, Skyscanner, Googleflights (although I’ve only used this for ideas), etc. Then I chat with friends who’ve been there, check for visa requirements and costs, book it, and go. Easy, peasy.
The longer vacations take a bit more work. Currently, I’m in the midst of booking the bits and bobs of Joe’s and my future trip to Iceland (in 10 more weeks, but whose counting). Iceland has been a bit more of a challenge for me because of its cost and unpredictable weather (hello Arctic winds!). There’s so much we want to see, but within our timeframe (12 days) and limited wallet, we’ve got to narrow it down. So, what I do in a case like this is I google the hell out of other people’s blogs, and I cross check their experiences with sites like TripAdvisor and Lonely Planet, and then I write the list of “holy shit we gotta do this!” and, then, logical me takes over and says, “bitch, let’s be real, are you really gonna be able to do all this?”
This time around other people’s blogs have played an integral role, and one of the things that has helped me most is their advice on how to plan, which of course made me realize that hey maybe I should share some of how I do this as well. Because I do this so much it feels like I’m writing the obvious, but if it’s helpful to anyone — yee haw! If not, hang in there folk, I’m sure I’ll have something new to write about next week (or I could tell you how we go about voting from overseas — in a nutshell we pay to mail our vote or drive to drop it off at the embassy — but this year’s election hurts too much to talk about, so probably not).
- Once I’ve (in my case it’s usually we) settled on a location (and this is after we checked out visa requirements, potential costs, etc.), I scan all the flight sites for the best flight deal. Experience has taught me best is not always the cheapest (and if you can get a good deal nab that higher-end airline flight — woo hoo I nabbed an Etihad one for my return flight). Kayak tends to be the one that lands me the best flight deals, but beware. Kayak sometimes takes you to other travel sites, which are not all created equally. Google those sites before you book and check their fees (some charge you extra for everything, including booking with a credit card!). I’ve had issues with some, and great experiences with others.
- Google travel blogs, if you’re old school and like something bigger than a phone in your hands buy guide books (although, in my case, I just bought the book to send to Joe), check out travel sites and WikiTravel, create your dream list. Then wake up the logical bitch and map out what you can afford (and what your body can handle). For the Iceland trip our must-dos: an ice cave hike (we shall see how I walk with crampons on), Glacier Lagoon area, Golden Circle, some of their famous waterfalls, Vik and black sand beach area, Christmas in a cabin in a remote area (InshAllah which includes a successful Northern Lights hunt), New Years Eve in the heart of Reykjavik, soaking in an outdoor thermal bath (Blue Lagoon is on the list for our last day, but we’re hoping to do another one somewhere else), and since we are a couple that spends too many months apart, one night in one of Iceland’s luxury hotels (we chose Ion Luxury Adventure; it was available and seemed more our style) and whatever else happens along the way.
- Book the tours, extra things you want to do. At first there were all sorts of tours I wanted to sign us up for, but logical bitch put me in my place. We decided renting a car and doing a lot of this on our own was our best bet. That said we weren’t going to go to Iceland in winter and NOT attempt an ice cave hike, so I googled the hell out of that and booked the one that we think works best for us. Mama is getting her fat ass on (and in) a glacier — much more doable than getting it in a dry suit and scuba diving between tectonic plates (seriously you can do this in the winter! alas it is no longer on my list).
- Map out journey and begin the lodging, rental car search. We’re exploring the south east coast, Reykjavik area, and a little bit of the west. We would love to do more of the west and northern parts, but it’s winter and we can only afford so much. Joe and I are rustic souls (that said I can also be a diva), so we’re good with lower-end accommodations (although lower-end price isn’t really a thing here). If it were summer time, we’d probably rent a camper, but it’s not, and we haven’t seen each other in quite a few months, so we went with a mix of apartments, cottages and hotel rooms that included our own bathrooms. It would’ve been cheaper had we included hostels or guest houses with shared bathrooms. So, for us we’ll have some nights out for dinner and some where we’re nuking leftovers, but we’re good with it — it’s what works for us. We’re also using a week to do what most people would probably do in about two or three days because we know we like to sit, stare and sigh at nature. But, we’ll be busy checking things out during those few hours when the sun is awake!
- Research nuances of where you’re going. For me the best part of travel is the stuff you don’t plan, unless it’s effing up by ignorantly violating a cultural norm. Then it’s just awkward or painful. Well, it’s sometimes awkward doing the local stuff as well, but that’s part of the deal. For example: I now know that we’ll get naked and shower with strangers before going into a thermal bath, and there’s something about not wearing your shoes in the locker room (will just watch and do what everyone else does). I also need to get the pin number for my credit card since we might need it to gas up, but I also read there’s these prepaid gas cards (we’ll figure it out, but I’ll have the pin in case). Joe is reading up on driving their winter roads since we both know it’s best I don’t drive narrow, icy roads (not that I couldn’t do it — I’d just rather take pics and not pollute the vehicle with loud profanity). Basically, get a taste of what you’re in for, so you can enjoy it versus being a bad tourist stereotype. We’ll learn how to say please and thank you in their language, but something tells me they’d rather we not mangle their words so badly (Amen! their English is probably better than ours).
- And last, but not least, research the basic stuff: what to wear, food and bevie costs (um, we’ll be doing a lot of pre-gaming before going out), etc.
And that’s pretty much how I spend my free time when I’m not whooping it up with friends, binge watching t.v. shows or reading a book on my chaise lounge. Okay and every once in a while my free time is also spent grading, but shhh we’re not talking work right now. Come on December, get here already!
Image taken from Wikipedia — oh Iceland how I’m dreaming of you (and, of course, my man).
Post bridezilla post
My favorite one of Joe and me, which is a hard pick because there are some great ones.
Four months later, and I’m finally able to take a look through all of the wedding pics Anna took for us. It’s gonna take me a bit to put it all together in a photo album, and I’m trying to send everyone my fave of their pics, but it’s easier if I blast a bunch in here and if any of my friends/family would like one on the blog, just let me know and I’ll get it to you. There are also many great ones not posted here because, well, I just can’t upload them all.
First off credit for all of these photos goes to Anna Purdy, who is based in Virginia. If you’re interested in her work, check out her website here.
Secondly, if you’re looking to read a post about one of my great adventures, this one’s a big one for me and my family, but will probably bore those of you who don’t know us. Hopefully, my next post will be of more interest to you.
Thirdly, I totally suck at posing for pics. I am not a model wanna be in any way, shape or form. Sooo kudos to Anna for getting so many lovely shots because I’m a hard one to photograph well.
Take for example this lovely pic, which through no fault of the photographer looks like I’m in phase one of zombie transformation. How in the hell do you even get your eye to do that?
BUT, despite my whackadoodle facial expressions I got a nice assortment of 50+ year old glamour shots — ewww even have some cleavage/thigh shots (but those are Joe’s pics to keep).
See not too shabby. Thanks to Shannan for doing my hair (not finished yet in this pic) and Michelle for doing my makeup.
My absolute favourites, though, are not of me in my shiny white robe. They are the family and friend shots, and the ones of Joe and me. I love all of us and what we have together, so I will never get tired of looking at our group shots!
Oh how I love my zany friends
And the women in my family/wedding party
And the men…
Sadly, Brian, Joe’s friend since grade school, isn’t in any of these photos, but we’ll have shots of him in the wedding album!
aw the kids and us. I’m so thankful for all the fun and love we have together!
And, of course, some of Joe and me
And the wedding party, which doesn’t include everyone who played a role in making our wedding weekend so fabulous…
Now all I have to do is wait two and a half months before I see my man again, and way too many months before I see the kids, but we’re always connected, and we’ll make the best of our time when we’re together.
Success…that works for me
While I just finished off another fantastic weekend in Dubai with good friends, this isn’t another “look at how lucky I am” post (well in a roundabout way maybe it is). I do feel lucky, but the reality is I didn’t just luck into the path I’m currently on. I worked toward it, and I fumbled, cried, bled through many mistakes and hurdles before getting here (and I’ll fumble through quite a few more before my time is done).
I read one of those internet articles that tells you what you shouldn’t be doing on social media if you want to keep your friends from defriending you — FYI writing such articles is probably one of them. Anyway, it mentioned how you shouldn’t brag about all your travels and how lucky you are, and I was like oh shit that’s pretty much all I post about. And then I remembered that, wait a minute, my Facebook page and my blog (my only social media outlets) are all about me being me with my peeps around the world (and anyone else who wants to crash the party for a bit). No one has to read a word I write, but I’m glad every now and then some people do. Maybe we’re connecting on a good level?
Then I got to thinking about what I think about my life now, and I realized that there are a few things I’ve always done that helped me to get to where I am now. I wish 51-year old me could tell much-younger me that I should stop wishing so damned much because I’ve totally got this, but you can’t tell younger you jack shit because A. you’re not a time traveler, and B. young you won’t listen anyway. But, for what it’s worth here’s what I’d tell me:
Quit taking what others say you should do as gospel, but do listen to what they have to say. Do learn from them, but know you’ve got some pretty damned nifty insights that will help you navigate your way through life.
- You know you’re not great. You’re aware that you’re as tragically flawed and effed up as the next poor soul. You know that when you do succeed at something it’s never because you did it alone. There’s layers to every success and failure … every single time. And because you’re so damned flawed you do sometimes judge, gossip and bitch about others, but then you remind yourself to shut the heck up because hey they’re human — although you do this back and forth thing a lot (might want to work on reducing the judgy moments)
- You’re incredibly grateful — even during the lowest moments in your life you will find something to be grateful for. Never, ever lose that. [And thank you to the people in my life who’ve cultivated this wonderful gift!]
- You change paths when you need to — even if it’s a long, hard road you really don’t want to take. [Younger me is giving the “are you crazy” look — no flipping way would I have ever thought I’d do half the hard work I’ve done to get from point A to B, and then change it all up again because I realized I needed a different alphabet, several times! and god help me, I’ll do it again].
- You don’t grow old — well your body is a bitch because she will age, despite your efforts. But your childlike wonder keeps you amazed and constantly wanting to know more. Please don’t squash that (although there are times when you’re exhausted and child like wonder is put into time out).
- You don’t seep in your sorrow too long. You grieve, you rage, you do all the craziness everyone else does when the proverbial shit hits the fan, but you’re usually pretty quick about taking a deep breath and accepting it for what it is and then finding a way past the bad parts.
- You smile wide and laugh loud. Sure you look and sound like a fool a lot, but damn it feels good. And not only is it good for your soul, I’m pretty sure it’s good for others too (unless they’re trying to sleep).
- Speaking of which you hang on to the people who also feed your soul, and you love them even when you kinda, sorta wanna slap them. You let go of those who solely feed off of you, even if you once loved them with everything you had.
- You’ve got a list just as long, if not longer , as this as to what you’re not good at, or what you don’t do well for yourself, but the good news is you pay attention to that too. You don’t always fix your flaws, but you try, and you admit (eventually) when you haven’t quite got it right.
And why I felt the need to share all of this in my blog is beyond me … oh wait that’s right I wanted to point out that the very good things going on in my life right now aren’t pure luck. I worked very hard to get to this point, and I’m okay with admitting I’m proud of myself for that.
Hard work and doing all of the above does not guarantee a life of happy, happy, joy, joy, but it sure as hell has helped me find my many different versions of success. And, I guess that’s what this rambling post is all about: discovering and embracing the bits about you that help you succeed in what matters (even when your definition of success doesn’t gel with what you once thought it was supposed to be). Mine is this crazy overseas life, my loved ones, and the stuff that happens in between.
And, hopefully, my posts about all of my joys and discoveries, are somehow connecting with you and your bits of goodness — and not coming off as me just bragging.
Okay time for me to give into my brutal side and do something else I’ve been enjoying lately: watch another Vikings episode. Holy moly, I’m so glad I wasn’t alive back then because then you’d be hearing all about the fools I eviscerated, and how blessed and lucky I was to have had the chance. This show might just turn me into a vegetarian — too much blood and guts (and, yet, I still watch).
Waiting on dirham day…
Luckily pay day is tomorrow because this lil traveler is down to her last fils. It’s all good because being broke forced me to have a low key weekend, which worked out just fine for me. Some friends came over Thursday night and we whooped it up with apps, bevies, gossip and games in my living room. Doesn’t matter where in the world you are, time alone with the girls is always one of the best ways to recharge and love life.
Yesterday I never even left my apartment — um didn’t even bother to change pajamas. I used the day to clean a little, grade a lot, and plot and plan my December break. So far the only thing that’s official is Joe is going to Iceland. His ticket (and some of our lodging) is booked; mine is not yet. That’s because I’m trying to find the best deal for me without the hellish layovers (I really am over sleeping in airports!), and I’m trying to work out where I’m going before I meet up with Joe. Long story short I’d like to fit in a quick visit to my family in Germany, but don’t think I can, and I’d also like to check out Finland and Sweden before meeting my man. Sadly, he cannot spend all of my vacation time with me. So yeah finding the right airline booking — and finishing my grading — is what stresses me out.
But it won’t for long because in a few hours I’ll be chilling at the pool with some friends. I can’t spend another day without getting some sun and sand on my face. And that’s pretty much life on my end right now. Next weekend a few of us are sharing an apartment in Dubai to do some beach and shopping time (so I can be broke again). I’m searching for waterproof hiking boots and snow pants — lol don’t think I’ll find those in Al Ain. How cool is it that in the same weekend I’ll swim in the Arabian Gulf while also shopping for snow gear?
And, I’m really, really, really freaking excited about the Iceland trip! We might even get the chance to hike into an ice cave. Yeah, yeah I know it’s dark most of the time and it’ll be cold, but I live with hot and sun, so bring on Winter.
The land of cows, curry, and controlled chaos.
This is exactly the look you’d get from me if I catch you taking a pic of me sunbathing!
Be forewarned you’re going to see a lot of pictures of cows in this post. As you already know they’re sacred in India and it’s illegal to harm them (and whoop! whoop! yes I got my Indian visa and made it to Goa). One cab driver told us he’d end up in jail with a hefty fine if he accidentally ran into one, so they roam freely. They’re every where, moving along at their pace, doing whatever they like, wherever they like — including napping on roads, playing on the beach, and, ahem, getting frisky under my balcony. I thought something was falling apart, and quickly discovered that cattle are, um, feisty lovers — luckily they’re also quick about it. The unimpressed female never even bothered to stop walking.
Cows aren’t the only ones roaming freely in packs. Dogs, who are not sacred, do the same, and while it’s not illegal to hit them vehicles pause and swerve and let them have their space as well. The animal lover in me made quite a few stray friends. This lil guy was my fave because he pawed me when I stopped petting him and then he barked at me to move along when my friends walked away. He followed us all the way to our hotel and then rejoined his pack of friends.
Sorry it’s so blurry, but meet my lil buddy.
There were so many stray dogs, but they weren’t sad. They were free and, for the most part, happily enjoying the sights, smells and sounds as much as we were.
For the cat lovers out there, we didn’t see too many of them, probably because they’re smart enough to stay off the streets and roam about courtyards and alleyways instead.
And meet my pet baby coconut. She has an old soul…
Okay enough about the animals. I didn’t go to Goa to see them. I went to relax on beaches, drink at beach shacks, and inhale as much Indian food as possible. And OMG did I. Everything I ate was delicious. The only meal that disappointed was breakfast, and that’s because Western me wants her fancy eggs and breads (and good God a decent latte!). We stayed in Candolim, which wasn’t very busy because we went during off season, but that’s okay. We got to mingle more with Indians on vacation than Westerners like us, which made for more of an authentic experience — although whooping it up in a bar with tourists (even local ones) doesn’t portray life in India, but I’ll take it. We ate, we drank, we laughed, we danced. My favourite place in Candolim was the Fisherman’s Wharf, the one place that was busy every night with great live entertainment. Another place we thoroughly enjoyed was Sunny Side Up, a restaurant on the beach with great food.
Bagga beach is where the party is at even during off season. Restaurants/bars line the beach with tables, chairs and all sorts of entertainment. We saw fireworks, tight rope performances, fire dancers, and a whole lot of people inhaling a whole lot of goodness. Needless to say we laughed, we ate, we danced with the moon and surf. Because I knew I’d be whooping it up I didn’t bring my camera (I didn’t want to lose it or drop it in the water). I wish I had. lesson learned.
We also got to see locals dancing in the street to celebrate Ganesha, the elephant god, who according to the Internet is also the patron of the arts, sciences and letters. My kind of God.
I nabbed this from the Internet (sorry it didn’t provide a byline) to give you a taste of what we saw. Our dancers weren’t throwing colors, but a couple we met said they were part of a dance like this in Delhi. Anyway, long story short I like a religion that celebrates with lots of dance and color!
The way they celebrate is a good metaphor for my experience of the country. It’s sweaty, it’s spicy, it’s colourful, it’s loud, and it is ugly and beautiful all at the same time. It’s coy and totally uninhibited. The traffic and constant beeping drives you insane, but it has its patterns and it surprisingly works — until it doesn’t. Then you wait until it’s time to pick up the frenetic pace again.
And it has all of this…
My experience with the visa process and then the airports (although Mumbai is a surprisingly beautiful airport) made me not want to travel to India again, BUT my experience there made me want to see more. I only had a few days in one of its corners, a lovely one and totally worth the trip; India I’ll be back. I don’t know when, but there’s plenty more to explore and experience.
bettina without borders 