Blog Archives
Worlds within worlds
Shame on me … it’s been months since I’ve posted. I’m still breathing, kicking and screaming (okay the last two I do in my head — more than you know).
The beauty of our chaotically imperfect lives is that regardless of where (literally and metaphorically) we are there is always layer upon layer to explore. Sometimes we get stuck until we remember to change direction, and then we get lost before we find our way to the next stuck or next oh wow.
Living in post-typhoon Guam is teaching me a lot about how I navigate my way through this process.
On the one hand, it’s amazing how quickly life bounced back, on the other woefully slow.
I left mid June to spend much-needed time with my family. Oh my goodness that in itself is always layers of joy, nostalgia, love and guilt for living so far away — always that damned guilt, especially when I am homesick for the place that is home but not really. Please do not confuse guilt with regret. I do not regret this life; it feeds my soul as much as my love for my children. It’s simply a mix of worlds within worlds.
Anyway, I loved my time home with the kids and their families. I also loved the too short time with close friends. That said when I boarded the first of my three flights back to Guam, I was ready. I missed my life there.
In just a few weeks the jungle returned. I’m still amazed at how quickly the vegetation grew over the wreckage. New vines and leaves have woven themselves around broken trees and somehow made them stand tall again. The chickens are back — not in the same amount they were before, but the babies are bobbing all over the place. I am blessed again with the scent of wet plumeria during my walks to the beach. Our beach, however, still has a long way to go before its shade returns. I guess it just took too harsh a beating.
Upon returning I decided it was time to discover the world that lives under the water I love so much. I better appreciate the phrase you can’t teach an old dog new tricks because holy hell I struggled learning to scuba dive. I dreaded every step of it, and I so badly wanted to quit. Other people take a 4-day course and they’re diving with friends by the following week. I started with that same course, but Joe and I ended up doing extra private lessons with our instructors because let’s face it fat folk float (who knew?). Older folk also don’t like letting go of their fears and realigning their instincts. The act of scuba diving is actually quite easy, but the learning to trust you won’t die is a whole other thing.
But this fat old dog finally figured it out, so screw you no-new-tricks cliche. I still struggle with my fears (trust me I have trust issues with myself), but when I’m under and find a sliver of zen, I pay attention and I see that fish and turtles have facial expressions. I’ve seen more than one give me the WTF are you doing look, some taunt me, some are amused by me, some, surprisingly a shark, fear me, and oh my goodness there’s so much more to see. I’m not yet sure I love it, but I am so ecstatic I’m getting to see this other world. I hope I keep doing it because there is soooooo much more for me to discover (lol and yet I’m terrified by that as well).
I wish I knew who took this pic because I didn’t take any underwater ones. 
Pic by Mike Borgert. 
I’m in that group! Pic by Greg @ The Dive Tribe 
Greg and Susie (oh noo just realized I didn’t upload the pic with Susie — she was my everything underwater) our instructors from the Dive Tribe. 
A moment of calm above the coral. Pic by Dive Tribe 
lol and there’s sexy me. This is what I look like AFTER a dive 
pic by The Dive Tribe 
I LOVE this pic. Thank you Carter Gingrich. That’s me clinging to my buddy Pam Borgert, who is a lifesaver in so many ways. 
Oh, I was so cocky when we bought our new gear. I thought I’d be diving just a few days later. lolololol
So, why am I here writing on a gorgeous Saturday afternoon? The man-made part of post typhoon recovery isn’t rebounding as quickly as nature’s work. We’re still having frequent power outages, which I’m sort of okay with (I’ve got a fantastic balcony to sip on), but our internet is definitely a test in patience. Long story short I’m waiting once again (lost count) for a visit from the Internet guy. Considering it’s after 3 p.m., and I told them I have plans at 5, I’m thinking another day will be wasted tomorrow — although I’ll do it at the pool with friends. I’ve discovered that like much of my species I am definitely addicted to the many different escapes the internet provides. And, it’s making me quite pissy having to fight for it. Although, I’m not really without since I can tether my phone — so call me hot spot princess — it’s just slower and an extra click or two of energy (and, well, not always stable).
I also have books, walks, friends and so many other gifts to get lost in.
How lucky am I to experience all these glorious worlds. Thank you to the powers that be.
Just call me Mrs…same last name
While all sorts of uglies have literally blown up around the world (including my country), I’ve been spending the past few weeks busy, busy, busy catching up and bonding with my loved ones. My heart aches for those who suffer, while my soul savours every second I get to spend with my people. Thank you to the powers that be for these precious times in my life!
In the spirit of loving and laughing, Joe and I had our wedding ceremony, and it was exactly as it should be: many of our closest people pulled together to celebrate all of us (and thanks to technology we were able to also include those who couldn’t make the trip). The flowers, the cabin, the woods, the decorations, the festivities, all of it was the perfect mix of all that is right in our world. Our photographer is busy sorting through all the lovely photos she took of us, so I don’t have those yet to share, but here’s a bunch from friends and family. I nabbed photos from here and there, so I’m embarrassed to say I don’t know who took what pics (very few posted are from me). BUT, credits go to Ericka, Monica, Steve, Michelle, Shannan, Trisha, Derek, Tracy, Diana, and darn it all I bet I’m forgetting someone. And, of course, the bridezilla in me will post more pics when I get them.
Pre Wedding fun: I’ve been celebrating this upcoming ceremony for months, but the fun in the states began a week before the wedding. It started off in Virginia, then ended up at my place in Phoenix, then caravanned four hours away to Show Low, Arizona, then back to my place. Here’s just a glimpse of some of it all, but know the best shots are still in my hard drive… Oh and Joe had his fun with the boys too, but they’re not much for picture taking.
The cabin! I have to show a slide show just on where we spent our 4-day weekend. The first two nights were all about whooping it up and decorating, third night was the big ceremony, and the 4th night was just for Joe and me. We’re so doing a family reunion here again!
For some reason I don’t have pics of upstairs game room or the THREE master suites — all of which include jacuzzi tubs. Joe’s and mine had a double tub, and you bet we sipped champagne in that bad boy!
Wedding Prep: Decorating and getting things ready was all part of the fun, and everyone pitched in! I just randomly nabbed people’s pics on this. There are way better shots of all the fun we had. Seriously the two days of prep that led up to the big day were simply awesome. THIS is what family (and that means good friends too) functions are all about. I love you all!
The wedding. Again, there are so many more pics that tell the story, but I don’t have them yet. Our photo album will do a better job of including everyone and everything.
I can’t thank, love and hug all who attended (in spirit, online and in person) enough. Now, I’m spending the days packing up the house while Joe is at work. Soon, my house will go on the market and Joe will retire and, well, the next chapter in our lives will begin. BUT, the fun times will continue. What lucky, blessed folk we are!
bettina without borders 